It's been awhile. Seems 2011 is a year I can't wait to see go from an overall perspective. My husband had the shingles and so I had to care for him and kids. At least I'm to a point now that I can walk around and get things done for everyone. We had soup a lot since it's easy to make! The girls have been very good and helped. Luckily, we caught my husband's shingles were caught very early and he's doing much better now. Even I've been feeling better even if a little tired and getting a big now since I'm in my 30th week of pregnancy. It's day by day but remember, I've been feeling better. Well....

The DVT/blood clot is gone! Yes, it is gone! The doctors are in shock because they expected it to still be there and take at least eight more weeks to disappear. The power of prayer, thoughts and all the time people have spent on hoping for the best for us -- well I believe it made the difference! Just in time for Christmas, I have a new hope... especially in miracles. Blessings and thanks to all of you for caring so much about this experience I've had. The baby is kicking away and probably having a party (at least it feels that way to me)! I'll write more about this after Christmas since I still have way too many gifts to wrap. Besides, I have some gingerbread cookie dough in the fridge waiting to be cut and baked. Oh and decorated. Sigh. I just can't help it...with everything that has happened this year I want to celebrate life and all that I love about Christmas. I had to give up a few things and that's okay. The gingerbread house didn't get built this year. At least the elf made it on the shelf and Santa will visit us tonight. Which reminds me, I better wrap this up because I still have to put those chocolate chip cookies in the oven for Santa to eat tonight! I'm sure my oldest daughter will put out some carrots for the reindeer too. 

At any rate, the DVT that I had was life threatening on October 9th as it was complete. Had I not gone to the ER well I could have lost my leg...or life. For this clot to be gone in 10 weeks is really amazing. If it wasn't for family, friends and faith... I seriously don't believe I would have been able to have the hope and positive outlook. There have been good and bad days. Now I will pay this forward. 
Thank you all for your support and it's been so nice to meet such wonderful people this year on Twitter. I wish you all a blessed holiday season and a new year full of hope. On this Christmas eve, may you sleep in heavenly peace. 

Sleep in heavenly peace...

My 14 year-old cat sure is!

 
Before I dive in, thank you to everyone for your comments! Being new to this blog/comment process has been a learning experience the last week. Please know I appreciate your time to make a comment on my blog and am looking into replying to you! I spent the last few minutes finding the comments and will get back to each of you personally! (Ah the lessons we learn as we stumble along the way… sigh!)

Last Tuesday, I posted my first blog in quite a long time writing about my experience with a very challenging pregnancy and how I had to put my writer dream on hold during that time. I'll explain how all of this ties into writing.

A week later, I’m still on the journey but just one week further along. During this time, I’ve reflected on how far I’ve come and I’m celebrating. Why? I’ve made it another week and I’ve posted two blogs and met some amazing people on Twitter. 

24.4 represents the number of weeks and days I’m along in my pregnancy. Each day counts. Looking back on the last 24 weeks, I’ve made through every struggle with the goal of still being able to live and follow my dream of being a writer.  It’s not a marathon sticker number I can put on the back of my car but I’m just as proud. 

There have been three phases to the pregnancy that made my word count take a nose dive.

Phase 1
During the early weeks I had horrible morning sickness and I didn’t care about writing. 

Phase 2
Next, I had walking bacterial pneumonia since my immune system was down and again, I didn’t care about writing. (Weeks are going by and no writing!)

I hit a few weeks when I felt better and started writing. Finally! It took a few hours…okay a day or two to be honest…of trying to figure out where to start again or where I left off the last time. 

Last Tuesday, I mentioned that I had a third final blow and I'll attest that it nearly took me out of writing and shut off the dream. 

Phase 3
The day was October 6th and started like every day. Ache here, hungry, getting restless about what to get done for the day. I ran errands, felt great, even dressed up (that means a nice top and jeans for me, not velour or PJs) and just felt great. Suddenly that night around 9 PM my left leg started swelling. By 11 it was 3 times the size of my right leg. My husband took me to the emergency room.  After an ultrasound test came back negative for any blood clots, the nurse told me I had probably overdone it and need to take it easier. 

The next day I was miserable but made it to my prenatal appointment in the morning. My doctor told me he was surprised that I didn’t have a clot because I definitely had the symptoms. My leg, still swollen, hurt and I couldn’t put a lot of pressure on it. My OB told me that if it got worse “at all” to go to the ER because even if a clot wasn’t found that one could be there, perhaps so small not caught. (That was great advice by the way.) 

I went home and googled about blood clots. Do this if your gut ever tells you something is wrong. It was scary to learn read about blood clots but I believe this knowledge saved my life.

Let's skip by some time of me going to the Pumpkin Patch and sitting on a bench the whole time or just me sitting around on Saturday. By Saturday around 7:00 PM I was freaking out because my leg swelled more and turned a reddish purple color. Trust me, I WAS freaking out. I cried thinking that I was going to lose my baby, leg or life. My husband took me to the Emergency Room. The same nurse was there from the other night and her first question was to my husband, “Did she overdo it again?”  Before he could respond, I firmly said, “No, and there is definitely something wrong. It’s only my left leg which is a major symptom of a blood clot.” She didn’t know this, but I had on my iphone ready via Safari the list of symptoms. Yes, I had every single symptom of what is called Deep Vein Thrombosis (DVT) or simply – a blood clot in a major vein. 

This time around though, a different ultrasound technician found the clot and the Emergency Room doctor said she was happy I came in again. I was immediately admitted into the hospital and put on herapin, a blood thinner. For two nights, I did a lot of thinking. 

What does this have to do with writing? Everything. I had the chance to nothing but think for two days and nights about what I wanted to live for: dreams, hopes, fears, life, kids, husband and that novel I wanted to write. The baby inside me had so much to live for as well. It was a time to dig deep on what I felt that was spiritual and supernatural. I won’t deny it. I didn’t get to death’s door but I got a bit too close to ignore it.

The sudden surge of emotions centered on the fact that I was blessed with a great job and I loved what I did. However, I also wanted to continue writing my book and let my characters come to life. 

Let me add one more phase representing when I turned a corner.


Phase 4 
I would be okay. I would write.

This isn’t over by any means. Every day I am taking two shots of blood thinners and making my rounds to visit various doctors. Tomorrow I have an appointment with the high risk doctor again. It’s scary. Again, I won’t deny it. Writing this blog has helped me feel a sense of purpose and more confidence about following my dream of writing. It's a welcome distraction. Eventually I’ll create a more seamless “My Story” about what has happened but I can’t help but share my thoughts as they occurred during such a tough time. It’s my hope that I help someone who may be going through a tough time in their writing and feel hope. Without hope, I always feel I have nothing. With writing, I feel that inner hope come alive – just like my protagonist. She’s been sitting in the chair waiting patiently for quite some time. Funny though, I swear I hear her tapping her foot waiting on me to get back to her. I better get going!

Until next time…please dream as if your life depends on it. 
 
I wanted this and wanted that. I had a goal to start writing a blog and work on my dream of being a writer. With over 60K words in the WIP Bank I felt I was on my way. Then, life happened. Much to my surprise and husband’s we found out back in June that we were expecting our third child March 2nd!  We had come to a point in our lives we felt blessed with our two beautiful children and I started focus on the next phase of my life and a dream to be a writer. I balanced being a full-time job, mom duties, and all the other things that go with daily life. Okay, as balanced as I could be and still go after that dream of writing my novel that is.

What I didn’t expect was a roller coaster ride that would derail my dream of being a writer. Yet I’m a fighter and after a time that spirit came back to the surface and I’ve made the decision to go after that dream. The book in my head is there. The characters are waiting for their lives to be more real and tell me they can’t live their lives until I live mine. It’s the crazy writing thing that writers hear characters in our heads. They bang, scream, and do anything to get our attention. My characters changed after awhile and got sad. They wanted to know their futures. So do I.

During this rough journey the last five months I’ve learned more about life and dreams than I ever would have otherwise. I believe that with all my heart. I plan on writing about the journey but will summarize that I had plenty of time to sit on my laurels and think about exactly what life meant to my future, family, and friends. Trust me I thought about what I really wanted and had thought I wanted.

I wanted to write a blog about writing. In hindsight, iIt was one-dimensional and was not enough of me to give. It took all these troubles to realize that.

After some thought, the urge to write a blog that encompasses more about how I would approach this writing dream in general became my goal. It won’t be just about writing or my career. It will be deeper than that. Most of what I’ll write in the beginning will be about what has happened, how I faced a very troublesome pregnancy, and how I value the life I have and the one inside me. My wish is to share my journey to support people in their dreams and get through the rough times the best I can. There will be some focus on the daily ups and downs of bedrest and two distinct points of time when I ended up on my back in a hospital and told how lucky I was by an ER doctor that I trusted my instincts. Mainly though, I’ll write about how I plan to learn from this experience and how it has changed me as a person and as a writer. For women, I hope that if you have some of the troubles I had that you feel you are not alone. That goes for all the writers reading this as well.

Remember, there are others out there going through tough times. You are not alone.

Remember, there are others out there with dreams. You are not alone.

Remember, it is okay to feel fear of the unknown (medical, writing, career, etc.). You are not alone.

You can feel afraid. It’s okay. How I now get motivated is think about time as a precious gift and that if I let fear overtake me, I’ll have to face regret, not just fear.  I’ve chose to face my fear and dive in…go for it. That way at least I know I tried.

For my next blog, I’ll get more into some of the pregnancy struggles I’ve had since June and therefore am providing a high level overview of what I see as the “Big 3” challenges so far.

These three phases of my pregnancy that were challenging to my body, mind, soul and each required bedrest of some kind:

  1. Morning Sickness which meant morning lasted all day and night
  2. Walking Pneumonia (bacterial)
  3. Deep Vein Thrombosis (DVT) AKA a blood clot in a major vein of my left leg
This journey of life is always in motion. There are no guarantees. As I write this, I know that the baby inside me is at risk. But aren’t we all every second?

    Author

    By day listen to voice of the customer / client loyalty. Rest of my life listen to my protagonist & write her story. YA fantasy, mystery #writer. Live w/ #DVT..

    Blog posts are Tuesdays and Thursdays.

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